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I Have a Twisted Sense of Humor

July 23, 2008

I think I got it from my dad.  Anyway, it has produced these gems recently:

1) I’ve decided that the best way to deal with telemarketers is to make a recording of G when he’s panting and play it whenever they call rather than answer as myself.

2) I actually told G that he has a bush fetish.  I said this in the middle of our street after he investigated the umpteenth bush on someone’s front lawn. I didn’t realize the other meaning until two seconds later.  Luckily, no one was around. Which then reminded me of this: 

I first saw this as a campaign protest picture which I promptly sent to my lesbian friend who roared – and I mean ROARED – with laughter.

3) I nickname everyone who I don’t like.  Well, Dr. Uterus I like but he is one a few members in a select profession and could be easily identifiable (thereby helping to identify moi) so he doesn’t really count.  But, everyone else is fair game!  Our next door neighbors are Boris and Natasha because they are from Eatern Europe and we are convinced they are operating a secret Communist cell next door.  They recently got a puppy who I’ve named Sputnik.

4) One of my favorite nicknames I’ve ever come up with is for my podiatrist.  I have to see him again next week because I think I broke my toe last week – number three on the left foot.   His nickname: Dr. Dorquemada, a hybrid of Dork and Torquemada.  He’s a dork (a sweet one, but a dork nonetheless) and he puts me through exquisite torture.  And, I think he’s Catholic so that just adds to the whole Spanish Inquisition atmosphere of having your toes tortured in the name of podiatric health. 

5) I find this absolutely hysterical.

I’m sure there will be more. There’s always more.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. July 24, 2008 5:07 pm

    Ah, Bush. There’s so much funny about him.

    I nickname everyone I like. & people I can’t remember their names. & myself. But I usually don’t nickname people I don’t like – they’re not worth the effort.

  2. July 27, 2008 10:20 pm

    I think I just lost what was left of my childhood innocence listening to that Casey Kasem clip!

  3. July 28, 2008 1:15 pm

    Ha! I hate having to come out of an uptempo record into a dog dying…

    Very funny, Mrs. X. Thanks for the laugh. I need it today.

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